Burritos, Bowling, and Brotherly Bonding
by particularly good finder
Summary: -An exercise in dialogue- Finn takes Kurt on an adventure. To the locker room. At night. To hunt ghosts. Needless to say, Kurt is not pleased.


**Yes, another experiment in dialogue. They take less time to write but still let my inner fan-girl out.**

**Yeah…blame my recent viewings of 'Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files' and 'Paranormal Activity'.**

**Also, I'm sure the Mexican food is crap in Ohio. Or nonexistent. But I just spent a month trying to explain its deliciousness to a bunch of kids from New York, Japan, and Germany.**

"Finn, what the _hell_ are we doing here?"

"I've told you a billion times-"

"You told me _once_, with your mouth full of taco as you basically kidnapped me and threw me into your car. I was about to start my moisturizing routine!"

"_Burrito_, Kurt. Tacos have a crunchy shell. Burritos are soft."

"Do I look like I care?"

"You should! Mexican food is one of the four main food groups! You should be able to tell the difference between tacos and burritos."

"Do you know how fattening that food is? And Mexican is not one of _my_ main food groups."

"How do you _survive_?"

"Healthily."

"What about pizza?"

"Grease."

"Dessert?"

"You're kidding."

"Pancakes?"

"You've lost me."

"The four food groups! Argh, Kurt, you disappoint me!"

"So sorry, Finn. But you know who's going to be _more_ disappointed? Our parents, when they find out you've _kidnapped_ me."

"Oh, come on! This'll be fun!"

"You haven't even explained what _this_ is!"

"Oh, right."

"You've planned something stupid and dangerous and possibly illegal, haven't you?"

"No!"

"Finn."

"Okay, alright, I have."

"Turn the car around, dimwit."

"No! C'mon, we're doing this!"

"And this _is_…?"

"Ghost hunting."

"What?"

"We're going to hunt some ghosts!"

"You kidnapped me so we could hunt _ghosts_?"

"Yeah…"

"Only you, Finn Hudson. Only _you_."

"Oh, come on! _You_ were the one who made me watch the Ghost Hunters marathon!"

"I was sick! You know what flu medicine does to me! Temporary insanity!"

"Well, it's still your fault. Now I wanna get some ghost footage!"

"Ghosts aren't real, Finn."

"Then why is there a whole TV show dedicated to hunting them, huh? Huh?"

"I worry about you sometimes, you know?"

"Why? Hunting ghosts can't be _that_ dangerous. They're dead!"

"You're lucky you're cute."

"Okay…"

"Where the heck are we?"

"School."

"You're kidding."

"What? Doesn't this place creep you out?"

"Yes, but for completely different reasons."

"I'm serious. Once, in the locker room, I _swear_ I felt someone watching me when I was changing."

"Hmm…"

"Why's your face so red, Kurt? _Did you feel it too_?"

"WHAT? Oh, oh, the…presence. Um, yes, yes, that's it."

"See? The locker room is haunted."

"Sure it is. But do we _really_ have to break onto school property in the middle of the night to prove it?"

"Yes."

"I refuse. You go in and do your thing, but I'm staying right here where it's well-lit and legal."

"Come on! I need someone to film!"

"Oh, _hell_ no."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll tell Burt about your late-night canoodling with Sam."

"Finn Hudson, how many times do I have to say it? Sam and I are _friends_. Friends!"

"Friends with benefits, maybe."

"Finn-"

"Take this flashlight and get your butt in there."

"I hate you."

"Shh, the camera's on. Introduce yourself and our mission."

"Hello. My name is Kurt. My step-brother is about to die."

"Mission, Kurt, _mission_."

"Hmph. We're here, trespassing on school grounds, to find this so-called "locker-room ghost" that Finn is convinced is real. Of course, I'm not exactly here by my own free will, per se…"

"Stop being a baby, Kurt. Act like you're excited."

"Oh, golly jee, we're going to go get ourselves killed stumbling around a deserted locker room looking for ghosts! This is so exciting!"

"That's the spirit! Let's go!"

"Shoot me now."

"But then who will I film?"

"How about Rachel? Your camera-whore girlfriend?"

"Be nice! Besides, I thought we could have some brotherly bonding time."

"Damn those puppy-dog eyes of yours! Why must you be so charming?"

"Look! The door's unlocked!"

"Oh, joy."

"Come on, Kurt! Act like the guys on Ghost Hunters!"

"Crikey, mate! It looks like we've stumbled into the natural habitat of the gullible Frankenteen!"

"That's Steve Erwin, not Ghost Hunters!"

"Once again, at least you have your boyish good looks."

"You know, Rachel says that a lot."

"That girl's growing on me."

"Look! Did you see that?"

"No."

"I saw something moving over there!"

"You're paranoid, Finn."

"No, it was like, this dark, shadowy thing!"

"You mean my shadow?"

"Oh."

"Look! Over there!"

"What?"

"OH MY GAGA! DID YOU SEE THAT?"

"WHAT?"

"A DIRTY JOCKSTRAP! ON THE _GROUND_!"

"What?"

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"Oh…I think it's Puck's…"

"Ew…"

"Look! Over there! I saw someone!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No, you _didn't_."

"Yes I _did_!"

"Fine, whatever, you _saw_ something. Sure. Can we go now?"

"No. I want to get proof of film!"

"Well, if you _saw_ something, you probably got it on film. Look, dunderhead, I'm tired. Let's go _home_."

"Fine. You wanna dri- WHAT THE HELL?"

"SWEET JESUS, WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Th-the door just s-slammed. Must've been the wind."

"Uh, right. Totally. Let's go."

"Kurt…you know I love you, but would you please stop feeling me up?"

"Finn, sweetie…I'm over _here_."

"Oh."

"OH DEAR GOD!"

"RUN, LITTLE BROTHER! RUN!"

"IF I DIE, I'M KILLING YOU!"

"GET IN THE CAR, START THE ENGINE!"

"YOU HAVE THE KEYS, DUMBASS!"

"OH!"

"Oh, holy…holy…oh, _Gaga_…"

"Kurt?"

"_What?_"

"Do you think we caught that on tape?"

"You mean my girlish squealing or your _admirer?_"

"Um…the second one?"

"No, sweetie, because _you_ had the camera."

"Oh."

"But my squealing? Yes, yes that is forever on film."

"Well…I guess that was a bust."

"You _think_?"

"We could always try again tomorrow! This time _you_ could film…or we both could! And maybe we should bring a baseball bat to be safe. And you should wear better running shoes. And maybe we should watch more TV-"

"Finn. Finn!"

"What? Is the ghost following us?'

"No, no. I was just going to suggest that we should go bowling. You know, for this brotherly bonding you seem so keen on."

"Oh. Bowling. That's a good idea. Sounds fun! Wow, why didn't _I_ think of that to begin with?"

"I _am_ the smart one in the family."

"What does that make me?"

"The cute one?"

"I can handle that."

"And, Finn?"

"Yeah, Little Buddy?"

"Tonight was fun. In a terrifying sort of way."

"Yeah. I know what you mean. You're a cool guy, Kurt."

"Thanks, Finn."

"But we're never doing it again, right?"

"You couldn't _pay_ me enough."

"Good. Let's just hope the bowling alley isn't haunted."


End file.
